Happy Birthday Meka!

I think my life has changed completely since I came to the UK. I can say that I gained a lot, learnt life lessons I wouldn't get if I stayed in my comfort zone, met some incredible people. However I have lost as well. You grow apart with some people. And it's okay. Sometimes you simply don't have time to keep in touch, sometimes you just change. I don't go back to Kazakhstan too often, I haven't seen most of my old friends for ages, and now the phrase "We used to be friends" is more real to me than ever. However there are three or four friends of mine who will always have a place in my life. We might not talk for months or even years, but when we see each-other, it seems like it's only been a couple of days since we had our last conversations. Meka is one of them.

I've known you for as long as I can remember myself. I cherish our childhood memories, our love for Harry Potter, Arts school afternoons, talks through the windows of our houses, teenage dramas and countless walks next to the riverside (regardless of the weather). We haven't seen each-other for over a year, but I know that some bonds are for life. You should know that no matter what, I will always be there for you. You are becoming an independent woman, a person who is in the process of finding your place in this world and I wish you a great journey full of bliss and fun! We can't possibly know what will happen in the future, but I hope that whatever is waiting for you, you will always feel happy, peaceful and loved. The world has so much to offer, and knowing you, you will always be brave enough to take chances, to try new things and to explore your opportunities. I hope that in ten, twenty, fifty years we will still be present in each-other's lives! I can't wait to see you soon (hopefully), so please try to make it to the UK this year :P

Happy Birthday to you,

I love you very much,

See you soon,

Aida

Missing Koç.

It's been over a year since I went on my study abroad to Turkey. Wow. I can't believe it! It feels like just yesterday I was meeting all the amazing people for the first time, had my first ever brunch at Garipçe, went for hookah at Rhino, spent evenings in Taksim, explored Sultanahmet, traveled to Kadikoy, had lunches at Yemekhane and Pideban, went for movies and Chinese food in Cevahir, walked around Istanbul during the marathon times and simply enjoyed the campus life, far from all the traffic and stress of a big city.

The fact is..I miss the days from almost a year ago, I miss the people who were there with me. I'm extremely grateful for the months I spent at Koç and I wish I could go back in time just to have one more day with all the sweet exchange people and wander around Istanbul for one last time.

Thank you for reading,

A :)

Busy October.

So October has turned out to be extremely busy and sort of restless for me. It started with a short trip to Bristol, two Birthday parties and continued with a 4-day trip to Durham. The North was extremely cold and windy, which made Exeter seem so welcoming when my boyfriend and I got back.

Being back to Exeter, I guess I'm supposed to jump into the sea of knowledge, surfing on numerous textbooks and embracing the waves of lecture slides and articles. Supposed to. Instead, I occupy myself with series, such as "Avatar. The Last Airbender." and  "How I Met Your Mother". Iskandar is being a great partner in crime by the way :) As soon as I realised how irresponsible I've been this past month, I must admit, I got a bit worried and stressed out. But then, I just looked at this from a different point of view. I don't have to submit anything before December and my academic skills have always been great, luckily. In other words, I'm a fast learner. So I've got a whole month before the deadlines once my boyfriend goes back to Malaysia. Oh, about that. Iskandar and I have only two and a half weeks left to spend next to each-other, after which he has to start his work. Which is why we are trying to make the most of every minute we are physically together. Out of nearly fourteen months we've been in a relationship, ten were spent in long distance. It may seem a lot to someone, but we were always thankful for every opportunity to see each-other, even if it was just a week. So no wonder I can't really concentrate on my modules at the moment. What I'm really looking forward to is the second half of this month! Tickets are all booked, schedule updated. All I can say is adventures are waiting for us out there! Meanwhile, we are enjoying our last week in Exeter and I am trying to sort my academics out :)

Thank you for reading,
Love,
A.

P.S: Here are some random photos from the past week. Enjoy:)

Durham Riverside

At Adnan's in Newcastle

Durham Cathedral

"Flat White" in Durham. The place serves amaaaazing hot white chocolate.

Sunny day in Exeter. One might recognise the stairs next to the Forum.

About time.

I consider myself a highly emotional person- I can cry for a small reason, go insanely mad as I have a bad temper, melt from someone's cuteness, or, complain too much when I'm upset. However, I know for sure that no matter how down I feel, how angry I can be at the moment, an hour or two later I will let it go and honestly forget about it. And I won't ever remind or accuse anyone of what happened. My thoughts and unexpressed feelings lead their own unpredictable life though. Some of my thoughts and ideas from years ago are still fresh in my mind, they come back when I don't expect them and they will always be with me. One of them is why I'm writing this blog post.

***

A couple of hours ago my boyfriend and I watched a movie called "About time". It is seriously one of the best movies I've seen recently, maybe actually the best one I've seen in a year or so. The story evolves around a family, which has a secret : all men in the family can travel back in time, only in the span of their own lives though. A young man learns it from his father , and uses his gift to get what he wanted most in life- love. However, the touching love story wasn't the best part of the movie for me, neither was the idea that you should live every day to the fullest, as you don't get any chances to fix it; the most powerful storyline was the final scenes between the dad and the son. The father dies from cancer, and the son travels back in time to spend more time with him. However, at some point the son realises that he sees his dad for one last time. He can't go back in time anymore. And this is where I guess I have to explain why it had such an impact on me.

I never knew my dad too well, I never cared about him much when I was a teen, never thought about him much, never needed him. I grew up not communicating with him, due to some events which happened in my family when I was still a little child. I barely remember him. Surprisingly, this doesn't stop me from being so much like him in lots of ways. We have similar little habits, looks, facial expressions. When my mom told me this, it made me incredibly happy. And although I don't want to repeat his worst mistakes, I'm proud to be his daughter. I know for a fact that he loved me with all his heart.

4 years ago he passed away. I will be lying if I say that I was devastated, or heartbroken. I wasn't. I never really knew him, and could never feel the connection, especially as I was a silly teenage girl back then. However I always loved him, and he lives in my heart, in some unexplored corner of it. What I can say for sure is that now, being more mature and wiser( at least I would like to think so), I regret not knowing him. Unlike the movie's character , I can't travel back in time. I can't fix something that wasn't broken by me. And this thought , the fact that I won't be able to actually know my father and what kind of a person he is, this idea will be always haunting me. 

***

One of the lessons I learnt in life is to regret nothing at all. This particular one is the only exception and weakness of mine.

Thank you for reading,

A